translating 高启's "寻胡隐君“
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natalie -
大家好,
I'm trying to translate a poem of Gao Qi.
Here is the poem:
寻胡隐君
渡水复渡水，
看花还看花。
春风江上路，
不觉到君家
I found a translation, by Xu Yuanchong, but the last two lines seem inaccurate to me.
His translation:
On a Visit
I cross stream after stream
And view flowers on flowers.
I arrive as in dream,
Glad to forget the hours.
I think there is a problem with the last two lines:
春风江上路，
不觉到君家
Don't they mean something like...:
I started my journey on the river with the spring breeze
Now I don't notice when I reach my destination.
?
What do you think?
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gato -
Yes. The translator was trying to rhyme "stream" and "dream", "flowers" and "hours."
"Glad to forget the hours," I think, implies that there's something the author is trying to
escape, a meaning that's not in the Chinese original. Maybe you can come up with something that is
both faithful to the original and rhymes.
muyongshi -
I agree with your translation. And I don't think people should sacrifice the text for the sake of
rhyming when translating. I find your "non-rhymed" translation much more beautiful than the
"rhymed" one. And your meaning is accurate by the way.
SChinFChin -
Quote:
think there is a problem with the last two lines:
春风江上路，
不觉到君家
Don't they mean something like...:
I started my journey on the river with the spring breeze
Now I don't notice when I reach my destination.
Agree with the others, your translation is on the mark. Perhaps this will do:
I cross stream after stream
And view flowers on flowers.
I journeyed in the spring breeze down the stream, like a dream
Arrived (there) not realizing it's been hours.
It would rhyme, and catch the meaning too, though not "word for word".
BTW, are you a student of classical Chinese literature, or is it a hobby??
SWWLiu -
Quote:
Originally Posted by natalie
I'm trying to translate a poem of Gao Qi.
Here is the poem by 高启 :
寻胡隐君
渡水复渡水，
看花还看花。
春风江上路，
不觉到君家
I found a translation, by Xu Yuanchong, but the last two lines seem inaccurate to me.
His translation:
On a Visit
I cross stream after stream
And view flowers on flowers.
I arrive as in dream,
Glad to forget the hours.
This is too hard for me to translate literally, natalie. I supply a variation, just for fun:
Variation on a Lyric Poem by GAO Qi
寻胡隐君（明。高启）
Wading murmuring brooks after gurgling streams,
Sighting vernal blossoms upon fragrant flowers,
Caressed by the gentle breeze, I glide through my journey,
Ambling on by land or water, soon reaching your abode.
I hope the readers like it.
oldnews -
春风江上路
describe a picture which he see on the journey.
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